My little vacation was pretty good. Wendsday night we got in and pretty much relaxed. Thursday I spent the morning at some college, finishing capstone projects for school then went to little Mexico and xochimoto's for lunch with a bunch of people, that was pretty fun.
Friday we went to IKEA (I love IKEA) and on the way home, I got in a fight with Anthony Jay. Isn't that funny how he can bitch at me for leaving on friday, when he finally decides he wants to come see me? I am so sick of putting such an effort into our relationship...it's not supposed to be like that and he's always telling me everything is my fault. Garh.
Friday night I went to a pretty awesome bonfire...and I am so confused about the Jessee thing...I mean...it's more complicated then I want to think about. For a while, I was sure that I could just do whatever but since he's so close to my brother, I have to use extra caution. Friday probably shouldn't have happened. Recently, two of my ex's have started talking to me again, kinda making me think about how my relationships always turn out to be shit and how I actually care about Jessee and I don't want him to just be another shit relationship...
Saturday I went to see mall cop, was a good night.
Sunday BLEW. I forgot about daylight savings but ended up making it to work on time anyways, then, I find out that the schedual changed and I was an hour early...so I went to the beach and sat there thinking. Wow. The day just went down hill from there.
And now I am sitting at school, thinking about what's going to happen tonight when I see Antonino for the frist time since we broke up and what's going to happen with Jessee if he ends up going tonight...
About Me
- Amanda Marie
- My pain resides in who I used to be. I was stupid and ruthless, willing to drink the last sip just to numb the pain. When life gets too difficult, I mourn the hardships I face avoiding my past. I look through the one sided glass and often feel left out, knowing it used to be me who didn't have to worry about all the other hearts reaching out to me. Yes, it was much easier not to care, it was much easier to be numb to others pains, it was much easier to console myself. The funny thing about spiraling downward is that it always seems like a good alternative to reality...no matter what. "The search for truth is more precious than its possession" - Albert Einstein. "Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bare the pain, but you have already borne the pain, what you have not done, is feel that you are beyond the pain" -St. Bartholomew
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